I am going to go full force into recovery. I have let it ruin my life for long enough now and I have to do something. I have been to a few AA meetings and it seems that the hardest part for me is the one day at a time mantra. I think I'm kind of starting to see it, but it's still hard not to completely be overwhelmed by the thought of doing this for the rest of my life. But I'm willing to give it a try. It is ruining my life in so many ways. I am hoping that this blog can help me get my thoughts out and have a therapeutic effect. It may sound like rambling at first, but I feel very unorganized in my brain and I'm hoping that will wear off as i gain a little more control in my life. Hopefully.